It sounds like people are enjoying the Gonzo journalism style posts. Here's one from last night.
1. yen needs help with topamax coupon card. She gets all excited when i show her how to do it.
-Yen is one of our interns who works a few hours a week when she's not doing the pharmacy school thing. Going to pharmacy school and working in a retail pharmacy concurrently is one of the surest recipes for disaster in terms of your mental health. She's a good sport, though. What is funny about this is that Yen has very exaggerated responses and giggles a lot. It's hard to be in a bad mood around her.
Yen: I can't get this to work. Can you show me?
Me: Yeah, I can work on it (Spiffy starts working).
Yen: Oh, WAIT! Shouldn't you check this first? She's waiting (indicating another prescription a patient is waiting for).
Me: OK, sure (Spiffy starts checking the script for the waiter).
Yen: Oh!!! Phone call has question for pharmacist!
Me: Don't worry, I'll get to it.
Imagine this tiny little person (she's around 5 feet tall) rushing around, flapping her hands like angry birds and giggling like a school girl every time you respond to a question. It's too comical to be aggravating.
2. Guy needs cough medication for kid. Doesn't get what i show him. Thanks.
Not a terribly uncommon occurrence (unfortunately). People come to the pharmacy and want an immediate solution for their intractable malady NOW. They leave with what I recommend to them about half the time. Why? Because many people are just one rung away from apes on the evolutionary ladder (sometimes above, sometimes below).
This pisses me off for two reasons. 1) If you aren't going to listen to my advice, why waste my time asking? 2) I'M A FUCKING PHARMACIST. There is no other person that is more knowledgeable about over the counter medications than me. ME. The person standing in front of you sticking EXACTLY WHAT YOU NEED right in your stupid, vapid face.
3. Guy and girl approach pharmacy. Recognize them as the ppl who asked me a few months ago about what to do for her vag. Apparently they just got married and started having sex and her vag hurt. I immediately cringe because i think they are back for something related to that. They're here for her mother's achy knees. Relief.
This is true. It may sound funny to you, but you're not the guy that these two newlyweds came to early on a Saturday evening because they needed something to make the brides vagina less painful.
I'm serious. I remembered them because the situation was just that ghastly. A month or two ago they came to the pharmacy early on a Saturday. I was neck deep in refill-too-soons, transfer requests and ER scripts when they showed up. I have to give it to them, they explained their situation without an ounce of embarrassment. Quite simply put, they explained that they had just gotten married. They were both virgins, and their newfound forays into sex led to one very painful vagina. Just how the hell am I supposed to handle this? Anyone who is not a virgin will know that this conversation was a bit inopportune for my time and place.
4. Guy comes to ask for something that 'you drink and it clean you out'. I start to stand up to show him the mag citrate and he says 'which aisle? I find it.' interesting. I tell him which aisle and he actually comes back with mag citrate. I wonder if he was testing me.
This situation was strange because he actually went out into the store and picked up just what I would have gotten for him. That's like winning the lottery as Corpopharm has roughly a billion shitty products you can buy.
5. everybody that comes in at night are foreigners. They're coming to me for health care. Good fucking luck. Don't know why, they all have medicaid. That's not prejudice, that's truth.
For the most part, this is true. There are multitudes of people that come to the pharmacy after hours seeking medical attention from a pharmacist that has no business giving it to them. 90 percent of them speak shit for English and end up dragging their 7 year old out of bed to interpret for them. The ones that are the most fun are the people that are looking for a suppository and pantomime inserting said suppository into their ass.
6. Just filled an rx for one of those families where every member is on like 5 psych meds. Mom, dad, kids, dog. I wonder what dinner time at that house is like? 'hey dad, can you pass the... wait, who gave dad a knife? Run!'
Yep. You know those families you see at the restaurant on Sunday where all the kids are running around in an uncontrollable frenzy and the parents are staring daggers at each other? They spend a SHITLOAD of money at the pill room. Well, the state spends it because Medicaid pays for their drugs.
There really are families that exist (nay, thrive) where every last family member takes numerous psychotropic medications just to achieve some shambling form of normality. It makes sense if you think about it. Two really fucked up people meet and get hitched, then have lots of fucked up kids. Their mental illnesses are passed on via inherited chemical imbalances and drastic behavioral abnormalities. The result is a crazed family circus where the worst occurrence is much, much worse than Jeffy mispronouncing spaghetti.
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