I had a class today to get certified to give flu shots in the community pharmacy setting. It was taught by Applephiliac, so you know it was great. From this point on, I'm going to immunize the shit out of anyone that comes near the pharmacy. Especially if they're pissing me off.
Usual crabby patient: My copay is too high! Where's the toilet paper? You didn't fill my prescription right! Blah Blah...
At this point, as the customer is bleating like a dumb sheep, Spiffy comes flying over the pharmacy counter in a ninja suit, leading with a syringe full of flu vaccine. He scores a perfect hit in the deltoid and depresses the plunger.
Crabby: Ouch!! What are you doing?
Spiffy: You've just been immunized, bitch. You can thank me by shutting up.
On a completely unrelated note, I'm renaming 'ESPN Baseball Tonight' to 'Home Runs and Diving Catches'. That's all it is anyway. I also realized while watching Sports Center that the suicide rate amongst soccer and hockey goalies is surprisingly low. Those people look really depressed every time one gets by them.
27 September 2007
20 September 2007
Dudes Dig Me
Want to add a little spice to your life? Interrupt your normal daily work schedule and work the graveyard shift for a few days. That's just what I've done the last 2 nights, and it's been a joy. It reminds of of college, going on a solid 3 day bender, then suddenly waking up. For a few wild seconds, you don't know where you are or what day it is. I imagine it's how Nick Nolte felt in his famous mug shot. Right now, I'm pretty sure it's Thursday evening, but only because I keep checking the calendar on my trusty computer.
I got a call Tuesday (tuesday?) night from the district scheduler saying that a pharmacist at a 24 hour Corpopharm right up the street from me was sick. Really sick. Can't-make-it-in-to-work-tonight sick. Keep in mind that it's about 9 pm and I've been at work since 2.
Scheduler: I've been calling around all night and nobody can make it. Would you be willing to help me out?
Me: Sure. Bring it on.
Scheduler (incredulous): Really??
Me: Really. I'd just be sleeping otherwise.
It was just the response I'd expected. She sounded slightly taken aback (and a little concerned) with how quickly I agreed but was too relieved to have passed the buck to retract. Corpopharm cares about their patients.
Did I mention sleeping? Sleeping is what I wanted to do all night, but there are plenty of fun things to do to keep yourself awake in a pharmacy. For example, you can:
1. Count pills
2. Count pills. Wait, I already said that one.
3. Uhh...
What I really did was lots of push-ups, drink gallons of Diet Mountain Dew (70 mg caffeine/can), and walked around the store bothering employees and customers. Oh, and counted pills. I filled maybe 20 scripts from 10 pm to 7 am, when my backup arrived.
That was 17 straight pharmacy hours. A weaker person would have cracked under the strain, no doubt. So, when the scheduler called again yesterday reiterating our conversation from the night before, I readily agreed for another tour of duty. It made me realize that sometimes I do things solely to see how people will react to my actions.
I'm glad I went. I already wrote about a marriage proposal a few weeks prior, and something similar happened last night. I had just arrived, and it so happened that a couple of techs were scheduled to be with me until midnight. One of my techs was talking to a gentleman at the counter who she seemed to know. He kept eying me up, and suddenly cut off the tech he was talking to mid-sentence.
Guy: Who's your pharmacist? I've never seen him here before.
She continued on, ignoring his question, but he was a persistent little pup.
Guy: Who's your pharmacist? He's sooo cute.
Tech: He's just filling in for Iris, she's sick again. He normally works at Corpopharm down the street.
Guy (with a sly little grin): Well, I guess I know where I'm going for my scripts from now on.
Great. Hopefully he'll spread the word that there's fresh meat in town.
Tomorrow, my friends, is my last day of an 11 day stretch. I work open to close, and then I'm going out and getting destructively drunk. I'll be the guy stealing beers from my friends because the bartender (prudently) cut me off 5 beers ago. It's going to be great.
I got a call Tuesday (tuesday?) night from the district scheduler saying that a pharmacist at a 24 hour Corpopharm right up the street from me was sick. Really sick. Can't-make-it-in-to-work-tonight sick. Keep in mind that it's about 9 pm and I've been at work since 2.
Scheduler: I've been calling around all night and nobody can make it. Would you be willing to help me out?
Me: Sure. Bring it on.
Scheduler (incredulous): Really??
Me: Really. I'd just be sleeping otherwise.
It was just the response I'd expected. She sounded slightly taken aback (and a little concerned) with how quickly I agreed but was too relieved to have passed the buck to retract. Corpopharm cares about their patients.
Did I mention sleeping? Sleeping is what I wanted to do all night, but there are plenty of fun things to do to keep yourself awake in a pharmacy. For example, you can:
1. Count pills
2. Count pills. Wait, I already said that one.
3. Uhh...
What I really did was lots of push-ups, drink gallons of Diet Mountain Dew (70 mg caffeine/can), and walked around the store bothering employees and customers. Oh, and counted pills. I filled maybe 20 scripts from 10 pm to 7 am, when my backup arrived.
That was 17 straight pharmacy hours. A weaker person would have cracked under the strain, no doubt. So, when the scheduler called again yesterday reiterating our conversation from the night before, I readily agreed for another tour of duty. It made me realize that sometimes I do things solely to see how people will react to my actions.
I'm glad I went. I already wrote about a marriage proposal a few weeks prior, and something similar happened last night. I had just arrived, and it so happened that a couple of techs were scheduled to be with me until midnight. One of my techs was talking to a gentleman at the counter who she seemed to know. He kept eying me up, and suddenly cut off the tech he was talking to mid-sentence.
Guy: Who's your pharmacist? I've never seen him here before.
She continued on, ignoring his question, but he was a persistent little pup.
Guy: Who's your pharmacist? He's sooo cute.
Tech: He's just filling in for Iris, she's sick again. He normally works at Corpopharm down the street.
Guy (with a sly little grin): Well, I guess I know where I'm going for my scripts from now on.
Great. Hopefully he'll spread the word that there's fresh meat in town.
Tomorrow, my friends, is my last day of an 11 day stretch. I work open to close, and then I'm going out and getting destructively drunk. I'll be the guy stealing beers from my friends because the bartender (prudently) cut me off 5 beers ago. It's going to be great.
16 September 2007
Quick Weekend Post
This weekend was like all others in that there were a few precious moments with special people. The first special person had a question for me about the combination of alcohol, medication, and coitus. He didn't speak very much English, so he was using body language to get the point across.
Patient (returning to the pharmacy shortly after picking up his Rx): I forget to ask you! Sometimes I got home and drink (mimes cracking a beer and drinking it) and fuck (mimes pumping away on his sex victim). Is it okay to do that with this medicine?
Me: Yes it is. In fact, I think it's recommended.
Imagine this scenario for yourself. This man was a mid fifties, 5'5" and slight, slightly hunched over Spaniard. As he's querying me, he's got a sly little grin on his face, talking about getting drunk and having sex like he's getting away with something. I must be getting numb, because it didn't even make me want to giggle, and I've got a pretty immature sense of humor.
The next special person asked me about her husbands bizarre behavior from the preceding evening.
Wife: So I walk into the kitchen, right? He had taken a Kraft macaroni box and cut holes in it, and then stuck some Pop Tarts in it like it was a toaster. There were pots of water everywhere like he was going to cook something, but the stove wasn't on. Thank god! He also...
Me: Wait, wait. What was he taking?
Wife: Well, the doctor told him to take Benadryl to help him sleep, right? This morning, he said he took 2 Benadryl and 2 Sominex and didn't remember anything else.
Me: Those are both the same thing, diphenhydramine. Does he take anything else?
Wife: Yes! He takes Xanax for anxiety...
The pieces started coming together. When you combine benzodiazepines (Xanax) and sedatives (Benadryl) at high enough doses you get a phenomenon called retrograde amnesia. Normally this occurs when people take their benzo and drink too much. It doesn't usually inspire late night cooking frenzies with imaginary friends, but apparently her husband is the creative type. It at least explained why he didn't remember anything.
Me: Are you sure he didn't take any of his Xanax too?
Wife: Well, he says he doesn't exactly remember...
I had to laugh.
Patient (returning to the pharmacy shortly after picking up his Rx): I forget to ask you! Sometimes I got home and drink (mimes cracking a beer and drinking it) and fuck (mimes pumping away on his sex victim). Is it okay to do that with this medicine?
Me: Yes it is. In fact, I think it's recommended.
Imagine this scenario for yourself. This man was a mid fifties, 5'5" and slight, slightly hunched over Spaniard. As he's querying me, he's got a sly little grin on his face, talking about getting drunk and having sex like he's getting away with something. I must be getting numb, because it didn't even make me want to giggle, and I've got a pretty immature sense of humor.
The next special person asked me about her husbands bizarre behavior from the preceding evening.
Wife: So I walk into the kitchen, right? He had taken a Kraft macaroni box and cut holes in it, and then stuck some Pop Tarts in it like it was a toaster. There were pots of water everywhere like he was going to cook something, but the stove wasn't on. Thank god! He also...
Me: Wait, wait. What was he taking?
Wife: Well, the doctor told him to take Benadryl to help him sleep, right? This morning, he said he took 2 Benadryl and 2 Sominex and didn't remember anything else.
Me: Those are both the same thing, diphenhydramine. Does he take anything else?
Wife: Yes! He takes Xanax for anxiety...
The pieces started coming together. When you combine benzodiazepines (Xanax) and sedatives (Benadryl) at high enough doses you get a phenomenon called retrograde amnesia. Normally this occurs when people take their benzo and drink too much. It doesn't usually inspire late night cooking frenzies with imaginary friends, but apparently her husband is the creative type. It at least explained why he didn't remember anything.
Me: Are you sure he didn't take any of his Xanax too?
Wife: Well, he says he doesn't exactly remember...
I had to laugh.
10 September 2007
Corpopharm Does Not Care About You
The proof is in Corpopharm's latest ploy to increase their prescription volume. This, ladies and gentleman, is the $25 gift card.
You see, people are cheap. So cheap, in fact, that waving a paltry $25 in front of their faces will get them to take their existing prescriptions from a pharmacy that knows them to a pharmacy that does not. They don't care about all the difficulties that come with getting a new pharmacy staff to know them and all the inane shit that they demand. They'll move to a different pharmacy miles away to get $25 to spend in the front store on lots of substandard merchandise. Believe it.
I started doing some math today just to prove my point. Today, we handed out 20 $25 gift cards at my pharmacy for new or transfered prescriptions. That equals out to $500 for the day. Now, this promotion goes on for a month and Corpopharm does probably two of these fucking things a year. So, here's the math. It's so simple a pharmacist could do it.
20 gift cards daily x $25 = $500
$500 x 30 days = $15,000
$15,000 x 2 promotions annually= $30,000
Do you know how much a highly paid pharmacy technician makes working for Corpopharm in a year? I do, and it's not nearly as much as they hand out in gift cards. The way I see it is that this is meant to send a message, and like most Americans the average pharmacy patron is just too stupid to see it. The message here is that instead of employing someone to help make the pharmacy experience easier, faster and most importantly more safe, they would rather buy people off with gift card so they can get some toilet paper and peanut butter.
I usually try to include some humor in my posts, but I just don't see anything funny about this.
You see, people are cheap. So cheap, in fact, that waving a paltry $25 in front of their faces will get them to take their existing prescriptions from a pharmacy that knows them to a pharmacy that does not. They don't care about all the difficulties that come with getting a new pharmacy staff to know them and all the inane shit that they demand. They'll move to a different pharmacy miles away to get $25 to spend in the front store on lots of substandard merchandise. Believe it.
I started doing some math today just to prove my point. Today, we handed out 20 $25 gift cards at my pharmacy for new or transfered prescriptions. That equals out to $500 for the day. Now, this promotion goes on for a month and Corpopharm does probably two of these fucking things a year. So, here's the math. It's so simple a pharmacist could do it.
20 gift cards daily x $25 = $500
$500 x 30 days = $15,000
$15,000 x 2 promotions annually= $30,000
Do you know how much a highly paid pharmacy technician makes working for Corpopharm in a year? I do, and it's not nearly as much as they hand out in gift cards. The way I see it is that this is meant to send a message, and like most Americans the average pharmacy patron is just too stupid to see it. The message here is that instead of employing someone to help make the pharmacy experience easier, faster and most importantly more safe, they would rather buy people off with gift card so they can get some toilet paper and peanut butter.
I usually try to include some humor in my posts, but I just don't see anything funny about this.
03 September 2007
Weekend
She approached the counter with a shambling, encumbered gait representative of years of punishment due to the weight that she carried. A large scar staggered across her forehead and meandered into an eyebrow, disappearing. Who knows how she got it. She was dressed in one piece of fabric that could be most adequately described as a moo moo.
As she was signing for her prescription, she glanced up to me, with an eyebrow slightly raised as if to beg the question:
Her: Honey, you married?
Me: No, I am not.
Her: Hmmm. You know, I can cook and clean real good. I need me a good man so I can quit workin'. You know?
Indeed I did. I did my best to explain that I was not currently searching for a long term relationship.
Me: I'm sure you can. We should take things slow though, right? Maybe a date or two first.
Her: Oh, Suga! I'm fo' real!
I'll bet she was. The thing is, we might make an odd couple. Her being about 5'8'', 270 and black and me being a skinny white boy may force the wedding photographer to really dig deep to make those pictures turn out.
Wedding proposals aside, the holiday weekend went off without a hitch. I only endured 1 ass reaming, not that I much give a shit about those. I got to eat my lunch both days, so that was pretty sweet. Let's call it a win.
As she was signing for her prescription, she glanced up to me, with an eyebrow slightly raised as if to beg the question:
Her: Honey, you married?
Me: No, I am not.
Her: Hmmm. You know, I can cook and clean real good. I need me a good man so I can quit workin'. You know?
Indeed I did. I did my best to explain that I was not currently searching for a long term relationship.
Me: I'm sure you can. We should take things slow though, right? Maybe a date or two first.
Her: Oh, Suga! I'm fo' real!
I'll bet she was. The thing is, we might make an odd couple. Her being about 5'8'', 270 and black and me being a skinny white boy may force the wedding photographer to really dig deep to make those pictures turn out.
Wedding proposals aside, the holiday weekend went off without a hitch. I only endured 1 ass reaming, not that I much give a shit about those. I got to eat my lunch both days, so that was pretty sweet. Let's call it a win.
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