E-nun-see-yate

It was my weekend to work. Here's some highlights.

Me (addressing old guy): Hi. Do you have some prescriptions to pick up?
Old Guy: Wilson! W-i-l-s-o-n.
Me: What's your first name?
Old Guy: Wilson! W-i-l-s-o-n!!!!!
Me: No, your FIRST name.
Old Guy: Prescriptions!!!

Me (old guy 2): Hi. Do you have some prescriptions to pick up?
Old Guy 2: (pause) Huh?
Me: Do you have some prescriptions to pick up?
Old Guy 2: (longer pause) Son, I don't know what the hell you just said.
Me: Fair enough.

Me (addressing Dr. Soandso on the phone): That drug does not come in a 165 mg capsule. You can write for 125, 250, or 500 mg capsule. There's also a 125mg/5ml suspension. Will any of those work?
Dr.: It says griseofulvin 165 mg capsule right here on the order. Is that not clear?
Me: *Sigh*

Me (talking with a crazy lady on the phone): You picked up that fill on the 30th of last month. You should still have at at least 8 tabs left.
Crazy Lady: But I don't! I don't know what happened! I need more now.
Me (pantomiming shooting myself in the face): Your insurance won't pay for it for 5 more days. If you want to pick it up now, you'll have to pay for it out of pocket.
Crazy Lady: Are you sure you gave me enough?!? I'm completely out!!!
Me: We gave you a 30 day supply. Are you sure there's not some left? Could you have lost some?
Crazy Lady: Uh... Well, I guess I could have lost some. I'm always losing things.

On the bright side, it was slow enough that I got some time to take care of some housekeeping details like inventory and organizing. Our automated inventory system was grossly inaccurate on a few counts, including some drugs we go through a lot of. This becomes important when the computer thinks you have 2000 tablets of generic Vicodin when you actually have 500, thus not ordering any in enough time to keep it in stock. It's especially important because people go batshit insane crazy when you don't have their happy pills.

Oh, I can't believe I almost forgot this one. Some chick brought a pregnancy test to the pharmacy wanting to return it because it was 'defective'. Now, I've never been one to ride a high horse. I think anyone who knows me would agree with that. However, if you come to my pharmacy and ask me to do cashier work I might just have to bitch slap you. I have more important things to do throughout the day than check prices of toilet paper and get your god damn coupons to work. Take that or leave it, I could care less.

On with the story. My technician gives her a refund and she leaves. She's back about 5 minutes later asking for help reading ANOTHER pregnancy test. Turns out she was using it in the store's bathroom. My tech looks at it and interprets it as a positive. She starts crying and leaves. I think I started to tear up a little myself.

Oh! Almost forgot this one as well. At one point of the day, two guys came to the pharmacy needing help with tinea (jock itch) AT THE SAME TIME. I showed them the available antifungal options and they actually started comparing/contrasting the antifungals together. It was great. One decided on the 'cheapo' while the other went with the 'high dollar shit'. Stuff like this makes going to work every day interesting.