Spiffy Tired

Corpopharm is stealing my life, and I'm not entirely sure how it happened. Last week I worked 64 hours and this week I'll have 44 hours by Wednesday night. All I've done in the last 10 days is count pills, explain Medicare D plans and erupt in the occasional emotional outburst. Here's an example, as seen from the eyes of Giggles, my lead technician:

Me (checking a script. Suddenly, I slam my fist into my keyboard and offer a few eloquent curses) Ratfink! COCKMASTER!!!
Giggles: Uh, Spiffy, what...
Me: Some asshole stole my phone list again!! WHAT THE FUCK!?!?!

I have a phone directory of the all the Corpopharms in my metro area. This phone directory sits at my workstation with other important pharmacy equipment. This includes my calculator, my fish bowl (it holds crap that I leave to deal with when I'm not busy), and my script pads. The only other people that occupy my work station are pharmacists. As the simplest explanation is most often the correct one, this leads me to believe that some floater pharmacist walked off with my phone directory. This, my friends, is not acceptable.

Having a phone directory is important because people call me all the time and expect me to give them the phone number, directions to, and to-the-pill drug inventories of Corpopharms in Bumfuck, Egypt. Here's my usual response:

Me: I don't know. Call 411.

I say this because it is inappropriate for the general public to assume that their pharmacist is a phone directory, and has nothing better to do than play operator all day. Moreover, I don't have the time. I keep the phone list because sometimes it is important to get people connected to the proper pharmacy in a timely manner so that they can get their boner pills or early Norco refill.

After the above mentioned fit, I walked around the rest of the day with a set jaw and clenched fists. At that point, I had been working far too much and just didn't want to be in the pharmacy that day. It was sort of a straw that broke the camel's back situation. My phone list had been pilfered a few times already, and that time just set me off. It was actually pretty amazing. People would approach the pharmacy, see me, and suddenly veer off as if it suddenly seemed wiser to not engage me conversation. I need to get pissed more often.

After leaving work that day, I realized it was a bit silly to become so upset over a trivial event. I came back to work the next day to discover a note that I'd attached to my new phone list in response to the recent larceny. Apparently I was in quite a fury, because I don't remember doing it:

If you take this phone list, I will find you and burn your house down. Love, Spiffy.

Work in my pharmacy at your own risk.