Most Wednesdays I work at my pharmacy all day. Open to close. 14 blessed hours.

The first episode occurred fairly early on in the day. This instance allows me to elucidate on a theory that I've been hypothesizing since the beginning of my pharmacy career. People who do crazy shit at the end of the day (i.e., 5 PM or later) may have just been having a bad day. People who do crazy shit at the beginning of the day (noon or earlier) are just fucking crazy. Or stoned. That's an ever-present possibility in the apothecary world.

A man approached the pick-up area of my pharmacy this morning around 10-ish. His appearance was slightly disheveled. Read: crazy.

Giggles: Do you have an Rx to pick up?
Crazy: No.

Just no. No explanation, no further elaboration, just no. Crazy continued to stand in front of the counter, wobbling a bit and emitting crazy rays to anyone in the surrounding area. I stood aghast.

Giggles stared at the creature until it decided to communicate further. It had a pair of reading glasses in it's hand, and was eying them as though they had just grown arms.

Crazy: The price musta gone up 2 or 3 times since I last looked! That's kinda fuckin' greedy!

Giggles' face dropped. That reaction was unnexpected, to say the least.

Our new creature wandered back to the eyeglasses display. At this point, both Giggles and I were watching raptly. It took the reading glasses it held and returned them to the display with an authoritative 'slam'. It began pulling other pairs, seemingly regardless of their strengths, off the display at random and quickly holding them up to it's eyes.

Crazy: No. Fuckin' greedy. No. Fuckin' greedy: NO! FU....

This carried on for less than a minute, but will stretch on into eternity in my mind. I think the Reading Glass Lunatic was looking for the magic pair of spectacles that would make it sane again. Just imagine it: you're in the pharmacy getting your birth control or cough medicine or whatever and suddenly this sodden oaf just starts tossing F-bombs and wrecking the merchandise. It's a toss up between calling the cops and just strangling the poor thing.

After playing optometrist for a good four minutes, Crazy just up and left. I wonder how it decided...