Fortune

I ordered some Chinese for dinner at work last night. Awesome. Some good Chinese can make the stinking 'I don't believe in grooming' patient you just had to deal with seem like last year. Plus it covers up any lingering smell. Everybody wins!

After I finished eating I fished the fortune cookie out of the condiments-forks-fortune cookie bag. It contained probably the most accurate fortune in the history of the world:

'Rarely do great beauty and virtue dwell together as they do in you.'

I know just how it happened at the fortune cookie factory in China...

Many men are sitting at a long table. The factory is dark and murky save for the overly bright spot lamps that hang over the work space. The lights all emit much heat, the workers are covered in sweat and grime. They have all been at work many hours.

Every worker has a large roll of paper. Each roll is covered in identical fortunes. The workers hurriedly cut fortunes from the rolls and stuff them into cookies. A foreman surveys the workers, shrewdly eying the mob for thievery. Suddenly, he stops and points one of them out. He screams urgently:

"Halt!"

3 ninjas fly from dark corners of the factory. They set upon the worker just as he's stuffing a cookie with a fortune like all the rest. One of the ninjas holds a tanto dagger to his throat. He freezes with the fortune cookie in his hands.

The foreman approaches the terrified worker. He bends down to be at eye level says,

"This fortune cookie going to great man. Great man require... great fortune."