Darwin would be rolling in his grave if he were aware of the state of the modern world, for certain. A perfect example occurred today at my drive through. It's truly a miracle that some humans survive to adulthood. The greatest tragedy is that they often reproduce.
Lady: It won't hurt me if I swallow some of it, will it?
The question was legitimate. The woman in the drive through was receiving a prescription for viscous lidocaine, a topical anesthetic. Doctors often write scripts for viscous lidocaine to be mixed with equal parts water and gargled for sore throat. If you're too much of a baby to just put up with it, that is.
Me: It won't hurt you if you swallow a little. Just be sure to spit it out after you're done gargling.
Lady: Well, I'm just not sure about this gargling thing.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen. The grown woman receiving the script was unaware with the function of the gargle. I didn't even attempt to respond, I just stared at her. How the fuck? The way she stated it was that not only the physical mechanics of gargling were unfamiliar to her, but that the very definition of 'gargle' escaped her completely. I had no idea what to say or where to begin.
I must have just stared for a while, because eventually she just mumbled something and drove away. The part that's going to bother me most is whether or not she figured it out. I hope she has a dictionary at home.
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