Spiffy Gets Reviewed

Today I traveled to the Corpopharm regional office for my annual review with TheBoss. I was truly curious about how the review would transpire as I had never been privy to one before. It turned out pretty much as I expected: forty minutes of business-speak followed by five minutes of the shaft.

Let me explain the relationship between myself and my company with a little metaphor. It's basically akin to a junior high dance. I'm the awkward, acned, poorly dressed boy trying to hide behind bleachers. Corpopharm is the ugly girl with braces and a speech impediment that's made really good friends with the water fountain but nobody else. Now, we both know how this is going down. We're the only two not dancing and everybody knows it. We can either slow dance and pretend to like each other or we can spend the rest of the year not getting picked in gym class. Not even a choice, really.

TheBoss spent most of the meeting discussing Corpopharm business measures and iniatives before she got the part that matters: my raise. Corpopharm saw fit to bestow me with a raise to the tune of 3.6%. Reviewing the inflation rate for 2008 since January, the average is around 4.3% depending on what source you look at. Corpopharm must not have majored in math, because it looks like I just got a pay cut instead of a raise.

I know some of you are thinking, 'But Spiffy, pharmacists already get payed a lot.' I'm aware of this, and I'm very thankful to have a job that compensates me as well as it does. What I'm not OK with is taking a pay cut so that Corpopharm stock interests can show a meager gain for this fiscal quarter. Yay.

This along with the fact that Corpopharm is currently the worst paying chain in a America may be making the math easier for many pharmacists around the country. I hope my scheduler is getting lots of rest tonight.