Hot Pharmacy Phone Action

Case 1:

The phone rings.  The gentleman on the other end explains that he just picked up his prescription for zol-pi-dem  (generic for Ambien).

Gentleman: This pill looks different from the last time I got it.  Did I get the right medication?

Me: Yes, we just changed what brand we carry.  Generic medications are available from lots of manufacterers, and Corpopharm changes which ones they carry from time to time.  That's what the new one looks like.  

Gentleman: Oh.  Well, the new one looks an awful lot like the atenolol I already take.  Can you get the old one back in stock?

Me: We try to only carry one manufacterer of a medication at a time. It reduces medication errors, confusion, and inventory issues.

Gentleman:  Well, how am I supposed to tell these two pills apart?!?

He sounded a bit indignant.  And ignorant, now that I think about it.  Anyone who's gotten a script filled before knows that when you get a medicication, you get it in a bottle with a typewritten label on it.  This label has lots of helpful information, up to and including the name of the drug that's in the bottle.

Me: Are you having a hard time reading the label on the bottle?

Guy: No.

I let that sink in for a few seconds.

Me: So what's the problem?

Guy: Well, they just look so similar that I can't tell them apart.

Me: You can't tell them apart after you take them out of the bottle?

Guy: Right!

Me: (pause) What about before you take them out of the bottle?

Guy: (pause) I can read.

Me: Then perhaps you should do so.

Case 2:

Next phone call.  The very next one.

Do you ever get on the phone with an unfamiliar person and just know that the conversation is going to go nowhere?

Guy: Hey umm I uh need this medication (mumble mumble incoherent mumble trailing off into nothing).

Me: I need you to speak up.  I'm having a very difficult time understanding you.

Guy: Yeah um uhhhhh Risperdal uh uhhhhhhhh...

Me: Sir, what's your name?

Guy: James Jakj;a$%!@...

Me: (searching computer) I can't find you in the computer.  Do you get your medication at this pharmacy?  We're the Corpopharm at (location).

Guy: I get my medication at the pharmacy, the pharmacy, ahhh....

Me: (sigh) Touché.

We repeated the above conversation a few times before I asked him to find his prescription bottle.  All the medications he was asking me about were antipsychotics.  He either hadn't been taking them, or was very drunk. Or high.  Or, some happy-go-lucky combination of the three.  I didn't want to deny him the opportunity mental health just because he was having some communication problems.  The mentally ill are one of the very few populations that I am exceedingly patient with.  As long as they don't piss me off.

After sitting on hold for five minutes (literally) he got back on the phone and stated that he's found a 'subscription bottle'.  I told him where the Rx number was located and told him to read it to me.  He read me a 4 digit number, not the amount of digits in a Corpopharm Rx number.  

At this point, we'd been on the phone for about ten minutes.  I can be patient, but most Corpopharm patients are not.  While he had me on hold looking for the bottle, I heard some muffled conversation.  Although I was glad this guy was trying to help himself, I didn't have all night for him to do it. I decided that it may be a good idea to try and get some information from who he'd been talking to.

Me: Sir, I is there anyone else there I can speak to?  I want to help you, but I just can't understand what you need.

Guy: My girl is here she's sleepin'...

Me: Put her on the phone.  It won't take long, I promise.

I hear him waking up his girl and soon enough a groggy female voice comes on the line.

Me: Do you know this man?

Girl: Yeah watchoo want?

Me: I think he needs some medication, but I can't understand him.  Do you know where he gets his prescriptions?

Girl: He goes to Corpopharm 2.

Corpopharm 2... not my pharmacy chain.  This little revelation came 12 minutes into the call.

Me: OK, this is Corpopharm 1.  Do you see his pill bottles there?

Girl: Yeah.

Me: OK, the number to his pharmacy is on the bottle.  He needs to call them if he needs more medication.  Can

you help him?

Girl: It's the middle of the damn night, and I'm tired.

Now that pissed me off.  Her boyfriend had tried for 10 minutes to get his refill himself, and this chick wasn't willing to call some numbers into another pharmacy that would take all of 10 seconds.  I don't know why I cared.  I guess I've got a soft spot for crazy people.  Whatever the reason, I decided the only way that my new crazy friend was going to get un-crazy was if his lazy girlfriend got off her ass.  It was time to pass the buck.

Me: I know, but your boyfriend is sick.  If he doesn't get his medication, he's going to be very sick.  He just had me on the phone for ten minutes and couldn't even give me his name.  He really needs his medication to be able to take care of himself.  Otherwise, you're going to have to take care of him like this all the time.  I don't know how long it's been since he took his last dose, but he's not well.  

Girl: Fine, I call'em.