So, last night I was called a honky motherfucker on the phone. I don't know how he knew I was a honky. Maybe it was my stubborn refusal to answer his question, or possibly my go-to-hell air of authority. I have to admit, though, he had me dead to rights.
The phone rings 3:45 AM CST:
Guy: Hey! I got a question... How ya doin? Uh, what is this A-L-P-R-A-Z-O-L-A-M?
People often spell out the names of drugs they don't know how to pronounce. I always have to scramble to write it quickly, because they usually read off the letters like they're some kind of crazed circus auctioneer. I missed the class in pharmacy school where we learn how to string together 10 letters in our heads to spell fancy words.
Also, a side note is in order here. Any time someone calls and asks me about one of the popular controlled substances like Vicodin or Xanax (alprazolam), I usually stonewall unless they can prove they have a script for it. The calls come in two forms: 1) they want me to identify a pill that turns out to be one of the aforementioned drugs or 2)they find a bottle of aforementioned drugs and give me the name without knowing how to say it. What does this mean? Usually that this drug is not theirs. What does that mean? That they stole it from a friend/relative or found it (stole it). In either case, they shouldn't be taking it. If I tell them what it is, they will DEFINITELY be taking it.
Me: Is this your medication?
Guy: Yeah!
Me: Did you get that filled at Corpopharm?
Guy: Uh, yeah!
Me: OK, what's your name? I'll look you up in the computer and then we can talk about it.
Guy: No, man, I just need to know what it is. It's A-L-P...
Me: I heard you the first time. If it's your medication, I'll look you up in the computer and tell you all you need to know.
Guy: It's my wifes medication.
Me: Does she have a question about it? I can talk to her.
Guy: Man, ya'll some honky motherfuckers!
Me: OK. Later.
At least he was honest. I have to say, I always frigured myself for more of a high-handed cracker than some lowly, ignorant honky. I guess beauty is always in the eye of the beholder.
No comments:
Post a Comment