My Partner Is Retarded

I have questioned it many times before, but now it's official.

I returned to my home pharmacy yesterday after being on holiday doing overnights. I was greeted by loving remarks and warm embraces from my technicians.

Smiley: Spiffy, you're dead to me.
Spiffy: Miss me, huh?

Apparently some of the floater pharmacists inhabiting my pharmacy have been less than desirable. Like it's my fault.

Anyway, my partner had some ground breaking news for me on the status of the CII counts. CIIs are a type of controlled substance that we keep a running inventory on to be sure that nothing goes missing. Federal law requires that a paper trail of each and every little pill is kept, so it's pretty easy to figure out when and where you went wrong, if you indeed did. My partner informed me that the counts were off by a few bottles on 2 different drugs and that she wasn't sure why. She stated that the inventory book showed a different quantity that what was actually on the shelf. I assured her I would look into it at the first opportunity.

Tonight I pulled the order records. Here's what I found:

1. In both instances, my partner ordered each drug herself.
2. In both instances, my partner signed for each drug when it arrived.
3. In both instances, my partner put the drug away herself in the CII cabinet.
4. In both instances, my partner was unable to perform rudimentary addition.

Welcome to Corpopharm.
_______________________________

A phone call from today with the concerned party requesting to speak to a pharmacist. They waited on hold 3 minutes.

Ohhold: Are you a pharmacist?
Spiffy: Yes.
Onhold: How much does this drug cost?
Spiffy: You know, any one of my technicians could have helped you with that.
Onhold: Your what?
Spiffy: *Sigh*. What medication is it?

Another call that requested to speak with a pharmacist:

Caller: What's on your four dollar list?
Spiffy: My what?
Caller: You know, your four dollar list?
Spiffy: No, I don't know.

I have to admit that I was playing dumb. Some pharmacies that are even more evil than Corpopharm have a big list of generic medications that they subsidize themselves and sell for four dollars for a month supply. Fortunately my particular chain doesn't participate in this farce. The person on the phone wanted to know everything that was on it. A stupid question gets you a stupid answer.

Caller: You mean you don't know anything about the four dollar list?
Spiffy: I have no idea what you're talking about.
*Click*