Weekend of Nights

I worked the overnight shift the last 3 days for another Corpopharm this weekend. Right now, it's 7:48 AM on Monday morning and I'm chugging bourbon in a desparate attempt to fall asleep. I already know what's going to happen. I'm going to pass out in about an hour and wake up around noon confused as hell.

I got a call last night around 8 PM. It was a person who wanted me to transfer her prescription from another Corpopharm because that one was closed. I punched up her profile in the computer (all of Corpoharm's computers are linked together for your drug using convenience) and saw that the script had indeed been filled 3 days ago. The prescription had no refills, and I explained to her that I could not transfer the script because of this reason. She was not pleased.

Idiot: So, what, you're saying that the prescription is filled at the other pharmacy, but since no one is there you can't transfer it.
Me: That's right. The presciption has been filled, and has no refills, so technically there's nothing to transfer.
Idiot: (pause) So, I can't get my prescription today? Is that what you're telling me?
Me: That's right (I use this phrase a lot, I don't really know why). You'll just have to pick it up tomorrow when the pharmacy opens. They open at 8, that's only 12 hours from now.
Idiot: I need it TODAY! You're telling me that Corpopharm can't transfer my script for me from one store to another? That's ridiculous! That's RIDICULOUS!

I once again tried to explain the reality of the situation to her, but she had already drawn her own conclusion. I see this same thing happen every day. This person wasn't getting the answer they wanted (in the form of instant gratification from her happy pills) so she was creating her own reality to allow her a scapegoat. In this case, yours truly reserved the rights to the scapegoat as soon as I picked up the phone. School is now in session. Allow me to elaborate on the facts of this case.

1) As soon as I pulled up her records, I saw that this Rx had been filled on 10-25 at her normal Corpopharm. That's 3 days ago. 72 hours.
2) She knew the script was at her normal pharmacy. The first words out of her mouth when I picked up the phone were asking me to transfer the script from another pharmacy.
3) The script in question was for clomiphene. Clomiphene is a fertility drug, used to regulate ovulation and increase the chances of getting pregnant.

This prescription had been waiting for this woman for days. The fact that she hadn't gone to get it was not circumstance, it was choice. She was now growing distressed with this realization. She knew that she had been negligent, and she was angry with herself. However, as with most Americans, blame-laying was far easier for her than accepting personal responsibility. Fast forward to her screaming at me over the phone.

Me: You're not listening to me. Legally and ethically, I cannot fill this prescription for you. I realize that you are upset, but that does not factor into my decision.
Idiot: Perfect. That's just perfect. *SLAM*

I put the handset of the phone I was using back in the cradle with loving care. At that moment, I felt calm, perhaps even serene. This is not a sensation that most pharmacists experience during their normal work day. The irony of the situation was just too perfect to ignore. Because of her own sloth and ignorance, this woman did not get her fertility drug. She would miss her chance at procreation this month. Clomiphene must be taken in strict timing with the menstrual cycle, and as I'm writing this she's missing her window.

For a long time I've believed that raising children should be a privilege, not a right. If I ever talk to this woman again (I doubt I will, I'm surprised she figured out how to use a phone the first time) I'm going to suggest that she names her next child Charles. Charles Darwin Lastname. I'll laugh and laugh and laugh.