Fakescriptguy showed up again last night. He's been in twice in the last month, and I promised myself that I was going to do something about it the next time he showed up. The last two times he came in he came with fake scripts for CIIs (the good shit). Anybody that brings in something I suspect to be fake gets the same treatment. I tell them that I have to call their doctor and check with them about whatever before I fill the script. They usually take the script, give some bullshit excuse, and never come back. Fine. This asshole keeps coming back, and it is testing my patience. Trying something that dumb multiple times means that a) you are indeed that dumb, or b) you have a substance abuse problem that causes you to do dumb things to obtain drugs. Neither of these is forgivable.
I was on the phone with Superpharm when I saw him walking toward the pharmacy. It was about midnight and nothing else was going on. I got excited.
Me: Shit! Fakescriptguy is here! He was just here last week!
Superpharm: Really?
Me: I'll call you back.
I grabbed my notebook. The local police station is only 2 blocks away and I have a number that will take me directly to dispatch. They love crackheads just as much as I do.
Fakescriptguy: Hi! I need to buy some needles. I need BD 1/2 cc short needles.
Apparently Fakescriptguy thinks that being able to tell me what kind of syringes you want gets me to open the door of the pharmacy.
Me: Do you have a prescription for syringes or insulin?
Fakescriptguy: No. I thought you didn't need one. I know what kind of insulin my friend uses...
It's always 'my friend'. In case you didn't know, diabetics are unable to buy syringes for themselves, and must always send a friend to get them. Such a terrible affliction.
Me: I don't sell them unless you've got a script on file for insulin.
Fakescriptguy: OK, I'll go see if they've got one.
He left, and I have to admit I felt a bit cheated. Apparently he'd already obtained narcotics elsewhere and now just needed needles. I was wallowing in self pity when I saw a cop wandering around in the store. I decided to get some legal advice.
I hailed the cop and talked with her for a few minutes. I showed her some copies of the fake scripts from previous episodes, explained the situation, and asked if she could arrest this asshole for me. I told her I could get cooperation from the doctor he was forging, show her video of him at the pharmacy, get them fake scripts that he'd filled previously, etc.
Cop: No problem. Next time he comes in with a fake, just stall him out and call us. We'll bring down the drug dogs and show him what a set of cuffs feels like, if he doesn't know already.
It's time for some pharmacy justice, bitches.
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