Caller: Can you tell me what atenolol looks like?
Me: Uh, there's lots of different manufacturers that make that. What's your name? (checking computer) I don't see you in our computer. Did you get them here?
Caller: No, I got them at Wal Mart.
Me: OK. If you get all your pills and tell me what they look like, I can tell you which one is atenolol.
Caller: I think I took the last one. What does Wal Mart's look like?
Me: (pause) Sorry?
Caller. What does Wal Mart's atenolol look like?
Me: How would I know?
That's right, the person just asked me what kind of pills Wal Mart has. Just so we're clear, I don't work for Wal Mart. I don't even go to Wal Mart. The last time I was there of my own volition was years ago.
This sort of thing happens more commonly than you would like to think. People sometimes expect me to 'check in my computer' to see if any other Corpopharm has their medication in stock. Half the time the computer at my pharmacy doesn't even know what the hell we have in stock. Ask me what drugs I have, I'll tell you. Ask me what a different pharmacy has and I'll tell you where to go.
And another thing: quit fucking asking me where shit in the store is located. Here's some food for thought. Look in the pharmacy. Notice everybody wearing white coats? Now, look throughout the front store. See any white coats? No? What does that tell you? The only time you're going to see a white coat any where but the pharmacy is because they're showing your dumb ass where the tampons are because you're too fucking stupid to read the signs over the aisles. I'm done.
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